If you landed on this blog post it’s most likely because you heard the big news! I’M PREGNANT! I have been bursting at the seems to share our latest news! It feels so good to finally be able to tell the world that baby number two is due this October! This is slightly nuts to me because my birthday is October 17th and Caleb’s birthday is October 19th. We also have friends/family who are October 3rd, 15th, 16th, 20th and 24th. And Caleb’s dad is November 3rd + my mom is November 17th. BIRTHDAYS ALL AROUND. My due date has ranged from October 27th-30th. But we got news from our OB today that she expects us to deliver around 37 weeks again which would be right around October 6th!? So far both pregnancies/babies have enjoyed keeping mama on her toes in anticipation. Our friends are joking that we’ll have him/her on Halloween to continue the holiday birthdays (Owen is New Year’s Eve).
So here I am, almost 11 weeks pregnant and gearing up for two under two (for a few months anyway), and all the pool hangs + swollen, bare feet this Summer. It’s pretty fun to think that my pregnancy journey is mirroring my mom’s pregnancy journey with me almost to a T.
How it all went down:
Two weeks leading up to the day that I found out I was pregnant, this stomach bug/flu/viral thing that 90% of Lancaster County experienced hit our home. Caleb got it, then Owen got it, then I (thought I) started to get it, then it kind of teetered back and forth between Owen and Caleb for a few days again. So for awhile I just thought thats what I had but it seemed to continue to linger, along with nausea which Caleb never had. So I took a pregnancy test and it showed up negative, which I expected. A few days later I ordered my favorite pregnancy tests on Amazon (they seem to be the only ones that work for me + I love to keep them stocked). My amazon account is shared with my parents, so when my mom saw the order she immediately texted me and said “is there something you need to tell me!?!?”.. ha! At this point I honestly had no clue that I was pregnant and was honestly just ordering them to have on hand for the future.
A week passed and everyone was back to being healthy but I still felt crazy nauseas so on February 16th, 2018 I decided to take one of the tests I had ordered. It didn’t even take the full 3 minute wait time before “PREGNANT” appeared on the screen and I felt my face fall to the floor and my heart jump into my throat. I couldn’t believe it and was overcome with so much excitement! When I thought I was pregnant with Owen, Caleb really wanted to be with me for every pregnancy test, and he was! They all had come out negative, so I decided to take the very last test I had on hand before I made a call to my OB to get checked out because something clearly felt off. Annnnnd of course, that test was the one that gave me the positive result! I wound up calling Caleb in total shock and excitement the minute I found out which is a great memory but this time around I wanted to tell him in more of a creative way.
So after Owen woke up from his nap we took a trip to target + got a “World’s Best Brother” t-shirt. Caleb was getting off of work early that day, so I had Owen wear the shirt under a hoodie and planned to have Caleb take off his hoodie for me nonchalantly when we all got home. Owen wound up taking the longest nap of his life that afternoon so I had to hold in this secret bursting inside of me the entire time waiting for him to wake up so I could do the big reveal to Caleb. I felt like I was shaking with anxiety for hours. Meanwhile, we had a guy over to work on our home security system so I was panicking that Owen would wake up while he was there and we’d lose the “perfect moment” to do this. It all wound up working out and Owen slept through that entire appointment waking up about 20 or so minutes after the security system guy left. So I asked Caleb if he could get Owen and change his diaper/take off his hoodie for me since he would probably be hot (he’d fallen asleep in his carseat and stayed sleeping while I transferred his carseat to his nursery). I secretly held my phone to record Calebs reaction and it was priceless. Mostly because we’d just spent 2-3 hours together and I hadn’t spilled the news or any hints of being pregnant which is what surprised him the most, haha. He took off Owen’s hoodie and after noticing the T shirt, whipped his head around to me and said “REALLY!?” … it was the best.
We slowly told our families and close friends and immediately began to pray and speak life and favor over this little, budding life. After having my miscarriage I expected to be filled with anxiety and fear through out my next pregnancy, and while I do have little freak out moments now and then, I mostly have just felt so at peace and a confidence that could only be Jesus working through me.
My OB assured me that they’re keeping a close eye on this pregnancy so that we all have a peace of mind through things. After my first visit with my OB, I had my blood taken 48 hours apart to ensure that my HCG levels were doubling as they should be and sure enough, they were over doubling! I had my first transvaginal ultrasound right at our 6 week mark, and we could see our little poppy sized baby and it’s strong, healthy 105 bpm heart rate.
We’ve had a few different blood work/lab tests and OB appts done since, and everything has remained strong and healthy! We heard the heart beat for the first time at our 10 week appointment. Nothing can express the huge sigh of relief and immediate excitement that brings.
My symptoms started off pretty early on around 3 weeks, with heavy nausea and stomach issues; sensitivity to smells and a very sensitive gag reflex. Cravings came on way quicker this pregnancy as well – I was craving a Big Mac for awhile like non other. Big thanks to the hubs for letting me give in to that one. The cravings have continued, and I have been managing my nausea by keeping my stomach full through out the day. At first it seemed to be worse when my stomach was empty, especially first thing in the morning. But it has been off and on all day, everyday. And recently it seems like I get super nauseas even after I eat. The struggle is real. When you feel so nauseas the last thing you want to do is eat something! Lately there is NOTHING that looks or sounds appetizing to me which makes keeping my stomach full an even harder task. Thank goodness for gingerale, preggo-pops, and all the bland foods. Bagels with cream cheese, cereal, fruit, and anything sweet have been my favorite lately. I’ve been having aversions to eggs, cheese and anything rich/creamy/heavy. Pairing with nausea, I’ve had super intense heat flashes, migraines and little to no energy. Thankfully Owen still naps twice a day so most days I get to take a little cat nap during one of his.
As of now, I feel like my pregnancies are pretty similar. One of my most telling symptoms with Owen was how sore my boobs were. This time around, they’re a tiny sensitive off and on but nothing like it was with Owen’s pregnancy. I have a lot of the same symptoms but definitely a few different ones! It’s fun getting to compare and see how different each pregnancy is to the next.
With Owen, that pregnancy consumed me. It was all I could think about and talk about. I ate, slept and breathed it. This time around, I’ve got my hands so full with a little boy who is constantly getting into things and climbing on things and just began walking, so I fid myself much more exhausted and occupied this time around. But when I do have my moments to slow down and let it sink in, I feel overcome by God’s mercy, joy and thankfulness. I love talking to our little Poppy (this became the nickname b/c we found out I was pregnant when “it” was the size of a poppy seed), praying over him/her, eagerly waiting for all of the newborn snuggles and day dreaming about what life is going to look like later this year with two babes.
Thank you SO MUCH to every one of you who have stood in agreement with us, declaring life and God’s goodness over our family and this baby. You’ve been carrying us through and it makes me cry (beyond the hormonal tears) that we’ve been so blessed with such an amazing village. We cannot wait to welcome this baby into our family and are deeply grateful for this blessing God’s given us.
*After I shared about my miscarriage in 2017, I had such an overwhelming outpouring of love from woman who could identify with me and that pain. Some of you may have experienced your redemption stories and some of you may still be waiting, struggling and hurting. I want you to know that I think about each and every one of you and pray for you often. It’s such an inspiration that you’ve been brave to open up your heart, share your stories and be vulnerable with one another and me. Miscarriage is something that I wish was shared and talked about more. But it was so encouraging to see so many women come together and support one another. You’re so loved + so special to me.
This is one blog post I have been itching to do! Zach and Nikki are as sweet as they come and I an confidently say they turned into life long friends of mine. I love when this little job of mine allows me to meet complete strangers and in turn, form lasting relationships. Every time I get a sweet note from Nikki in my inbox on instagram it makes my day! Whether it’s discussing our latest product finds/reviews, encouragement over life circumstances or laughing at my son Owen’s adorableness – Nikki is always so authentic and really just such a gem.
Zach and Nikki’s relationship and wedding day can be wrapped up in this entire word: authenticity. They’re so kind and yet so real. They form real relationships with every one of the people in their lives. So much so that Nikki hand wrote personalized letters for each and every individual guest that she had tucked in their place settings at the reception. I mean if that doesn’t give you an idea of how neat this couple is than I don’t know what will! Zach leads Nikki with such care and devotion, and Nikki loves on her now husband with such tenderness + grace. I can’t say enough about these two!
Their day was irish themed, with a bunch of neat nods to the country. But the main inspiration for Zach + Niki were their families. They both come from incredibly close families, and really wanted to honor them in planning their wedding. They chose to have special touches throughout the wedding to honor loved ones and family members. Their officiant was Nikki’s uncle, They had Nikki’s maternal grandparents’ song as the prelude to the ceremony, they chose for their mothers to share readings during the ceremony, and wanted the entire day to feel like two families coming together. They also wanted the day to have a very natural, ethereal feel regarding decor and the vibe. Zach and Nikki love being outdoors and having an outdoor wedding and bringing in lots of natural elements while keeping things airy and romantic was really important to them.
The love story: “Zach and I have known each other since we were in middle school. We met at our very small towns summer carnival that is held each year. We had similar mutual friends and had all decided to go together. At a certain point in the night I saw Zach sitting by himself near the Ferris wheel, looking rather sad. Turns out he had been “dumped” by his first girlfriend, who was my sisters best friend. I offered to ride the Ferris wheel with him so he wouldn’t be alone, and ever since that moment, we’ve been the best of friends.
We never dated during high school or college, but we would go on “dates” to get dinner, see movies, or hang out. He was the person I would go to to share good news, and the first person I turned to in the most difficult of times. We were each other’s person since middle school, and even though there was always something else, something very special with us, we didn’t start dating until we were both in grad school. After a spontaneous phone call on Valentines Day, we decided to take a leap of faith and see if our friendship just might be the beginning of a relationship. We dated long distance for about a year during my graduate program, traveling between Philadelphia where Zach was getting his PhD and D.C. where I was in school getting my masters in counseling. After school we moved in together in Philadelphia and began our next chapter.
In October of 2015 Zach and I went to Ridley Creek State Park, one of our favorite places in Philadelphia area that we went to so many times during my trips up from D.C. our favorite spot was at the end of the walking trail by the waterfalls. We made our way down and Zach suggested crossing the water to a small “island” of rocks in the center to get better pictures. The water was freezing and deeper than we thought, so Zach carried me across the water to the center where the large rocks were. Getting there wasn’t too easy, and there may have been a fall involved. Once in the center of the river standing in front of the waterfall he asked me to marry him, and I instantly began crying and of course said yes to my best friend.”
When I asked Nikki what their favorite memories from their wedding day was, this was her response: One of my favorite moments was having my “first look” with my dad. That was one of the best moments of the day for me, being able to have that special time with him and getting to surprise him. I cherish the pictures from that time because it was something that turned out better than I could have hoped. Our ceremony was my absolute favorite part of the day. The service that my uncle gave as our officiant was so perfect and so “us.” It meant the world to us that he agreed to marry us and the message he gave was so personal to Zach and I it really made our day even more magical. The first dance was also an amazing moment to cherish the fact that we were finally husband and wife! Zach’s favorite moment was “seeing you walk down the aisle. It was perfect.”
Venue- Stone Mill Inn
Flowers- Dan O’Donnel from Blue Heron Florist
Music- Declan of Provolve Entertainment
Dress- Pronovias gown from Elizabeth Johns Bridal
Shoes- Bella Bride shoes
Suits- Jos A Banks
Photography- Meagan Nicole
Until Next time | Meagan
Holy moly, it’s been a hot second since I’ve blogged! Let’s be real, it’s been like a year. WHOOPS. It feels so good to be back in action + updating my new site for you all! I wanted my first post of the new year to be our behind the scenes from our recent wedding season.
Reflecting back on all that the Lord has done in 2017 brings me to tears. First off we had the best intern/second shooter EVER and she goes by Morgan but I like to call her the sweetest dang thing since sliced bread. Morgan went above and beyond this year, tackling her first time photographing weddings like a pro. She fluffed dresses, held bags and more bags and phones and memory cards and flower bouquets (sometimes all at once – you’re the real mvp Mo), pinned on boutonnieres, got me drinks when I was about to pass out from the heat (not really, but really) and sooo much more. Morgan has morphed into this phenomenal, confident, assuring, helpful, eager wedding photographer and it has been the biggest blessing getting to play a small role in that.
2017 wrote the final chapter to an amazing journey. I’ve managed and grown with a team for almost 5+ years, and now going into 2018 I decided to scale down and go back to the roots of being an independent photographer. Julia has been with me since 2014 when she started out as an intern, and here she was in 2017 photographing her third full wedding season as a lead associate. I couldn’t be prouder of my girls + all of the memories and growth we experienced together.
Looking back over these images CRACKS me up. From testing locations/lighting, mirror selfies + selfies with the groomsmen.. it’s been a good year. From my first day back not knowing what the heck to wear to accommodate all of the pumping I’d be doing and feeling so swollen from nursing (literally so embarassed by that first outfit/hair choice. Black, always wear black Meagan.) to getting the hang of this mom life + work life down to a system and feeling like I could conquer the world. So dramatic, but so true. But really, I love seeing the evolvement that we’ve each gone through over the year.
We want to thank EVERYONE who hired us and entrusted us in 2017 to document some of your most treasured moments for you. We have been so humbled, honored and blessed to meet so many amazing clients turned friends.
Now, what you really came here for.. enjoy laughing with us.. or at us.. we won’t judge.
ALLLLLL of the love | Meagan
When I was about 16 years old my high school held a career week. We had to schedule a few “shadow days” with different local businesses. I shadow’ed a local photography business who had a cute studio along Main Street in Lititz. It took all of an hour into shadowing them for me to make up my mind that I would never run my own business. HA. Life’s funny like that, or rather God is funny like that. Whenever I have a plan for my life or a certain way I think something is going to look like, He has totally opposite plans. And to this day, His plans have always been greater and better than my own.
There I was, a “wild + free” 19 year old girl with a crazy big heart and all the dreams when the Lord dropped Meagan Nicole Photography practically right into my lap. I had been working so hard towards joining a team, yet God persisted to keep growing MNP. I did a thing and started a FB page. You know, back in the days before Instagram. Friends booked sessions with me, and then there friends wanted to book me, and then there friends. I second shot weddings, which to be honest might have been like a total of 4 before, out of no where, people started asking me to photograph their weddings! I was like whuuut, you want me!? I did mentorships under local’s much more wise then I, and started to build my connections, but nothing ever lead to a team opening, instead it lead to people wanting to work for ME. I started getting emails from young girls asking me if they could shadow me or shoot with me. Everything fell into place and each year God would fill up my calendar with amazing clients and friends. My workload grew to the point of needing help, so I began taking on second shooters and interns. A few of the internships formed into team members. Then came hiring editors. Over the year’s I’ve had the pleasure of working with 15+ “employees” and taking part in helping other’s find their passion for photography and running their own business. And now here I am, a little over 6 years in the industry, who started out as a 19 year old girl in love with her camera to a now 25 (almost 26) year old wife + mama, with a seriously full heart of gratitude and joy. I’ve photographed hundreds of weddings, events, and portrait sessions. I’ve been blessed to travel to Israel, Mexico, Florida, New Jersey, Maryland, New York, Philadelphia, and so many other surrounding areas. I’ve been blessed to lead and teach some truly gifted and special ladies who in turn taught me so much about myself. I’ve grown and learned so much from running this team.
Every Winter I pray to God and ask Him to bring whatever it is that He has for me to book. I ask him to align the wedding’s I am supposed to have and the people that I am supposed to meet. I don’t set a limit or goal for myself (for the most part), I just send out my pricing to every person who inquires for a date that I am available for and trust that God will work out the rest. Each year, my wedding season has progressively taken on more and more weddings. Going into 2017, I hadn’t had anything booked until May, which wound up giving me a 4 month maternity leave. Thanks to the big man up top for that one! Knowing I was about to have a baby boy I cut back on how many wedding’s I booked + of course, God worked it all out perfectly. I had just the right amount booked when I found out that I was pregnant so that I was able to work out my schedule perfectly to take on two weddings per month. I took on half of my normal amount this year and it has been great! This year has been nothing short of amazing. I still get choked up thinking about each and every couple who has entrusted me through out my career to capture one of the most special day’s of their lives. The places it has taken me + the people it has brought into my path.
I’ve always thought that I would continue to pursue growing MNP, whether it be with more interns, more team members, a studio, or just more weddings! That’s still such a dream of mine, but early on this year I began to wrestle with God on that dream. Here I was again, with this idea and plan for my life and my business. And God began making it pretty clear that He has other plans in store. While I l o v e leading a team, I feel like I haven’t been able to give our team the time + attention it deserves to really BE a team.
Becoming a mama has filled my life in way’s that I never even knew existed. Owen Davis has set my heart on fire + I feel so clearly that I am supposed to put more of my focus and attention onto motherhood and raising my sweet babe (or babes, when that time comes)! I so badly want to be one of the girl’s who can do it all. You know, that girl who can run her booming business without breaking a sweat + master motherhood, all while keeping her house looking like a dime piece and running all those necessary (and sometimes unnecessary) errands, while still getting home in time to get a nutritious dinner on the table, fitting in the quality time you need with your hunny-boo and going to bed feeling accomplished. But it’s time to face the music and admit that I am not one of those girls. I get way too overwhelmed and anxious and constantly feel like something is being neglected. There aren’t enough hours in a day, no matter who you are! Am I right? Maybe I’m just too much of a perfectionist. But I think what it comes down to is that God has designed and wired us all differently + uniquely. I am realizing who God has created me to be, and realizing that it’s time to begin watering and sowing into that part of myself instead of trying to go against the grain and fit myself into a mold that I’m not meant to fit.
So, where does this leave Meagan Nicole Photography + our team? Beginning January of 2018, Meagan Nicole Photography will officially be just me, myself and I. A small, independently run business catering to portrait + wedding photography, specializing in keeping it real and using www.meagannicole.com as my own little space to blog about life, motherhood, baby hacks, life hacks, recipes, collaborations, my photography.. and whatever doors the Lord wants to open! I am so excited to enter into this new season + to take a step back from running a team, to focus more on motherhood and my sweet Owen, while still pursuing my passion of photography, but on a smaller scale.
I can’t even explain the huge amount of peace that Julia, Morgan and I all feel. We all got chills over how cool God has been and how He’s completely lined everything up and continually provided so much confirmation for us through this process. We’re enjoying every last bit of this 2017 wedding season together and counting each and every blessing the Lord provided us in these last few years together.
MEAGAN: Photography is still such a passion of mine and I have no plans of givng it up! I will continue to book weddings for 2018, however dates will be on a more limited basis. My goal is to cut back on weddings and I’m hoping to begin booking more portrait + lifestyle/family sessions! Since I will be cutting back on how many weddings I book, this will allow for more time for portrait sessions/collaborations. If you’re planning a wedding, looking to collaborate, or want some updated portraits + are interested in booking me, head to the contact tab and send me an email! I’d love to chat with you.
JULIA: Julia will no longer be focusing on photography as her career and is excited to get back to loving photography as her hobby! She does hope to still book a limited amount of sessions and weddings for fun, on the side! These will not be booked under Meagan Nicole Photography, but will be booked with Julia individually. You can reach out to her at email@example.com to chat about details, availability + pricing!
MORGAN: You can look forward to seeing more of Morgan next year as my second shooter for the few wedding’s I will have booked. I’m so excited to see where God takes her on her photography journey. If you’re looking for a second shooter next year, hit-a-sistah up! You can reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org. She’s been trained by one of the best. 😉 I’ve got a feeling Morgan will be around this creative community we’ve got going on here in Lancaster for the long haul!
*For those of you who have booked with Meagan Nicole Photography for the remainder of 2017 or for 2018, you will not be effected by these changes! Everything will remain the same in your MNP experience and we cannot wait to dance with you on your wedding day.
Now, let me be clear about a few things: nothing is falling apart, our friendships are stronger than ever, there are no riffs and we’re all super excited! This has obviously been such an emotional, hard decision for me as MNP and my team have been like my baby over the years. I have such a love for it + them + have found so much of my identity in this over the years. But I know that it’s time. While taking this leap of faith, I know I am following God’s plan for my life, and it has me SO ready + excited to see what He has in store. It’s going to be awesome.
All the love | Meagan Nicole ✨
*Please hang tight as this transition may bring on some construction/delays to our website + social media pages. I can’t wait reveal my new brand to you all!
A few weeks ago, waves of nausea hit me in an all too familiar way. Then came the cravings. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was pregnant with our second child. Seeing those positive test results felt like victory and shock all mixed in one emotion. Excitement and holy-crap-can-I-handle-this, mingling together like the tango. Two under two. 7 months post pardum and pregnant. We hadn’t been trying to get pregnant so this was totally unexpected, yet somehow anticipated. My husband always joked to our friends and family that we were going to pop them out one after another; we both want to have our kids close together. And here we were. Around 4 weeks pregnant. There was something so wonderful knowing that it was God’s plan and His timing over our own. That he made it happen even though we hadn’t intended it to happen. And just like that we started dreaming and preparing and envisioning this new life we were about to have. We told our families and recorded cute videos. Excitement bubbled up inside of me at the thought of when we’d announce it to the world and the shock/surprise everyone would have. Realizing that this could be my last pregnancy has me all sorts of sentimental already, jotting down idea’s for reveals and bump updates. We made appointments, took photos, started prenatal pills… and then came my trip to Target.
During my pregnancy with Owen, all that helped me feel better during those long 13 weeks of solid nausea was these magical little things called “preggie pop drops”. They’re basically just hard sour candy to suck on and they were my slice of heaven. Standing in the pregnancy section to grab some of those little saving graces, I realized something. I hadn’t felt nauseous for awhile. And as I tracked it, I realized it’d been two or three days of not feeling sick for the majority of the day except for a tiny bit at night before bed. This didn’t happen with my first pregnancy, so I thought maybe it was just the luck of the deal. Maybe I was further along then I thought? Maybe it would come back? Maybe it’s a girl, so my symptoms will be different then they were with Owen? But they say you get sicker with girls. Maybe I’m just not going to be as sick? Home with my “preggie pop drops” I went. Ya never know when the sick feeling may strike. On my way home from Target I remembered the day before we left for the beach, I had some slight cramping. This was before I has gotten the positive pregnancy test results. I remember I was worried that I was going to get my period the day before we left on vacation and praying that God would either have my pregnancy test results finally be positive (because the previous ones were negative) or hold off my period until next week. Anyone else make those selfish prayers time to time? Not a proud moment. The cramping was so light and sporadic and short that I didn’t think much of it, and then we got the positive pregnancy test results so I figured it was part of the pregnancy. We continued dreaming of this little brother or sister for Owen, tossing around ideas for names, and snickering behind closed doors about how badly we wanted to tell whatever friends we were hanging out with at the time.
Sunday evening came and I began to have slight spotting. This can be totally normal so I tried to not let it bother me, but I started to let my mind wonder off into the “what if” realm. What if something is wrong? What if I’d have a miscarriage? I’ve always worried about those things, even in my first pregnancy, but you never actually think it will happen. At least you hope not.
As a photographer, I love bringing out elements of a couple’s natural chemistry. For some couples it may be more serious, romantic, goofy, fun.. and for Eric and Jennie, it was a happy, can’t stop smiling kind of connection. Our time together was all about capturing them in the gorgeous sunset, smiling and talking about their upcoming vows to one another. These two are so vibrant together and I cannot wait to photograph their wedding day this December!
Fun fact: they were my very first photography gig back from maternity leave and they will be my very last photography gig of the 2017 season! So you just know they’re all kinds of special.
xoxo | Meagan
Everyone, meet my baby boy Owen Davis! He was born December 31st at 1:22am, 5lbs and 12oz. He’s changed quite a bit since this newborn session that I took when he was a week old in our home. I’ve been snappin photos of him left + right, so I’m sure you can expect to see some updated portraits coming soon!
I’m officially off of maternity leave and getting back into the groove of things. Hello emails + editing galore! Finding time in between my sweet boys naps has me all sorts of confuzzled since I was so used to being able to sit down and pump work out hours on end, whenever I felt like it! But alas, I’ve fiiiinally finished editing and now blogging his newborn session. Looking back at these images has been so much fun. I can’t believe how tiny Owen was! I did bare minimal editing to these images because I wanted to remember every little detail about him – the peach fuzz, the infant rash, tiny little scratches he gave himself because it was near impossible to clip his nails at first..all of it! I used an array of new muslin blankets I’d been gifted + collected, as well as hand knit blankets passed down from my mom and great grandma (that were once used on me)! It was so special getting to pass along these blankets, keeping them in the family and wrapping Owen up in them. He’s really taken to one in particular and I’m fairly certain it’s going to be “his blanky” through the years.
I went for a more minimalistic approach with these images, focusing on capturing all of the silly faces and expressions Owen made. Keep in mind, I literally just gave birth to a baby and wasn’t getting around the best, so it is what it is! But I’m super proud of how they turned out and love that I got to snap a few memories in between each setting when Caleb or my mom or family got to hold Owen and help me out. For all NB sessions, there’s always multiple milk breaks. You’ll notice a ton of “trying to nurse” photos – haha! In the beginning of his life, and well, let’s be honest, still to this day – when o-bear get’s hungry he’ll try and latch on to anything and everything near his face. Pacifier’s, shirts, blankets, hands, the chest of whoever is holding him.. it’s pretty adorable. Luckily he’s started learning better what actually gives him the goods.
You will also find some shots of our nursery that I worked tirelessly on through out my pregnancy! It was so much fun getting to be creative and piece together everything. We went with a modern, minimalistic woodsy theme! Bears and dears and natural elements galore. Links to everything below!
Shop’s + product direct links from Owen’s nursery listed below!
With editing being a part of our main job description, you best believe we get our fair share of Spotify song searchin + dance-parties-in-our-computer-chairs on. With all these favorites we’ve been collecting, we thought we’d put together a list for all you brides trying to nail down the perfect “first dance” option!
Some couples have “their song” already, because it’s something special or meaningful to them. But if you’re anything like me and my husband – we did not have a song and it took me our entire dating relationship to just accept the fact that it was OKAY not to have a song yet. We’ve got the rest of our lives to claim one as “ours”. And now when I think back to our wedding song, something so different/unique that wasn’t overoplayed, it takes me right back to our wedding day and those feelings.
Whether you want something more traditional, upbeat, country, alternative or something that your guests have never heard as a first dance song yet – we’ve got you covered!
1. “Say You Won’t Let Go” – James Arthur
If only you knew how many weeks I’ve been working on posting this blog post. Finding time in between feedings, laundry, naps, changing diapers, dishes, more feedings, and loads of baby cuddles.. mom life is no joke! But alas, after piecing it together bit by bit, it’s ready to go live!
Matt and Anne’s wedding was one for the books. I feel like I say that a lot because I am just so blessed to have so many noteworthy, beautiful souls and clients that I get to work with. This was my first time photographing at The Bond in downtown York, PA and it. was. beautiful! I couldn’t get enough of the amazing tall ceilings, white walls, natural light and refinished industrial/warehouse vibes. There was a ton of architecture around the venue to use for portraits. It’s so much fun exploring new places + getting to use them creatively! Matt and Anne were up for literally anything and that made our job so fun.
I could write a book about this day, but I better not push my luck too far with the peace and quiet my sleeping baby has blessed me with. So, I’ll let the images do the rest of the talking!
Matt and Anne, you’re truly such an amazing couple. Thank you for hiring MNP as your photographers!
xoxo | Meagan
As a photographer, it was so important to me to document this time in our lives. Most of my clients know I was expecting our little bundle of joy this January, but he decided to come 3 weeks early, right on the last day of 2016!!! I thought it would be fun to post an update for those of you who have been following along. I will be on maternity leave loving on this snuggle bug through April, 2017. Until then, enjoy a bit of my personal life and our birth story! The story and images below could be considered “graphic”. You’ve been warned. 😉
The Back Story:
When Caleb and I found out we were pregnant, I immediately had a few things off hand that were important to me with labor/delivery. You could say I’d been excitedly waiting for this moment in my life! I talked to so many different people and friends and read and researched about so many different birth options and experiences, which really helped Caleb and I to confirm what we’d hope our birth experience would look like. It was super important to me to get a “natural” laboring experience. I was not against an epidural at all, however I really wanted to have the emotional/bonding moments with Caleb while I labored naturally (a birth ball, the shower/jacuzzi, walking the halls, etc). Let me start by saying I am not one to be super all organic/hollistic and new age-ish, though I do try to opt for the healthier options and have an appreciation for organics/natural lifestyles. After seeing and reviewing the differences in medicated births compared to more natural births, there was no question in Caleb or my mind what route we wanted to try for. I’ve never broken a bone and truly just had no idea what my real pain tolerance would be. The scariest thing I’ve ever done was get my nose pierced or my wisdom teeth out! I was super anxious just to see how far my body could take me and what my body could do. If the contractions were bearable, why get an epidural? I’d heard that at times that can slow labor down or even hault things, and cause a need for medical induction. Another main reason for me to put off an epidural for as long as possible was so that I wouldn’t be stuck in a bed. Once you get an epidural, you’re in that bed until you deliver your babe! The natural labor options + the baller photos I would walk away with totally motivated me in this decision and I’m not even ashamed of it, ha! I knew I had booked and paid for a great birth/support team so I wanted to take full advantage of them.
I really wanted to be able to either labor at home for as long as possible (in hopes that I could make it without the epidural for as long as possible + so that I could avoid being put on the 24 hour clock once admitted to the hospital). A lot of times, once you’re admitted, if you’re not progressing fast enough doctors will push to induce you with Pitocin or push you for a C section (sometimes it’s needed, and if my baby or my health were at risk, I planned to accept the need for medical intervention. But sometimes, there’s really no need for those interventions.) We went into this knowing full well that nothing goes as planned and we were willing to take things as they came and change our plan as needed. Being a photographer, there was no question about hiring a birth photographer to document this life story for us. I had a few friends who have used Elizabeth Parrett and had been anxiously waiting for my turn to ask her to cover my birth. I was so elated that she agreed to shooting our birth story! I also hired Liz’s sister, Meghan Hare as my doula! I can’t express enough how important of a role Meghan played in our birth experience. She filled me with so much knowledge and support. She allowed Caleb and I to plan how we wanted our birth to go without trying to change our minds on things, and made sure to have our backs during delivery when communicating with the doctors and nurses. When you’re laboring, you’re not really thinking clearly and taking time to understand what your options are so it was so helpful to have Meghan there not only as a birth coach helping me to stay calm and breathing and helping Caleb with techniques to use on me, but also because she took the time to explain things to us in terms we’d understand and helped us stick to our birth plan as much as possible. Sometimes the doctors may recommend things that really aren’t necessary and in my case Meghan helped me to not panic and to not just go with what I was told via the doctors. Another reason I hired a doula is so that Caleb would have someone to help him with things once I went into labor. Since I planned to labor at home, Meghan would be on call to help Caleb know what to do to help me while laboring + when we should head into the hospital.
We were originally told our due date would be December 23rd, 2016 but at what we thought was our 12 week ultrasound, our little man was measuring in at 8 weeks old. Our due date was changed to January 20th, 2017 and we began the countdown. God seriously blessed us with such a smooth pregnancy and such a great experience. My only main symptom was intense swelling. Towards the end, my feet, legs, ankles, hands, face, nose.. EVERYTHING was so, so swollen. But luckily everything remained super healthy! There were a few scares with a false mucus plug and high blood pressure that landed us in triage but it always turned out to be nothing. We also had a scare of not feeling a ton of fetal movement which turned out to be because I had an Anterior Placenta, which just means my placenta was placed in front of our baby, so it blocked me from feeling some of his movements. But he was as active as ever. In fact when they pulled him out and saw his umbilical cord my OB said he must have been super active because the cord was super spiraled!
Around Christmas, I began shedding my mucus plug. I could tell because every time I went to the bathroom some of it would come out. For me, this was just a thick, clear, jelly discharge. Some say that you’ll experience the “bloody show” within 2 weeks of shedding this, and go into labor within 24 hours after that, but I’d already lost some of it earlier on in the pregnancy and nothing came of it (it regenerated) so though I was hopeful this was a sign that this was the real deal and that I’d go into labor earlier then our due date, I wasn’t expecting anything too soon. Our OB had said she wouldn’t be surprised if we went 1-2 weeks earlier then our due date, so that’s what I was banking on. I was hopeful that my cervix may at least be dilated to 1cm at our next appt since you can walk around for a few weeks being dilated at 1cm. At my last OB appointment, Wednesday December 28th, my OB checked my cervix and though it was softened, I wasn’t dilated at all. I remember feeling kind of disappointed and worried that I might go to full term, or even worse, go past my due date. Don’t get me wrong I LOVED pregnancy. In fact, I find myself already missing it at times! However the bigger my bump grew, the more uncomfortable/stiff/swollen I felt. Sleeping was impossible so I began to feel pretty fed up and crumby. Especially at the end, I found myself questioning how I could possibly go “one more day like this”. Now I know that’s because I really was right at the end! My family kept saying that my bump had dropped a lot and that they didn’t think I’d make it to our due date, but I didn’t feel like our little guy had physically dropped because he loved to hang out in my rib cage and pushing out in weird oblong ways. I’m realizing now that it probably just felt this way because I literally have zero torso so there was just no where left for him to go. Just having a simple conversation with someone felt like such a challenge because I’d be having to catch my breath (through swollen lips) in between every 3 words. I must’ve been quite the sight.
The week after Christmas I began having pretty bad braxton hicks (which are practice contractions to get your body ready for labor). I’d had them since half way through the pregnancy, but they definitely began to intensify the last week of my pregnancy. My entire abdomen just felt super tight and uncomfortable. I remember having to kneel on my knees and lean over on the couch, letting my bump hang, rocking my hips back and forth while Caleb would rub my back for me at night (when they were the worst). I learned this technique in a birthing class we took at Womens + Babies Hopspital. All that week I felt this urge to get things in order that I planned to put off until the following week (taking down our christmas tree/decorations, getting my taxes in order, putting up a maternity leave auto email response for my clients, etc). I fully believe it was the Lord orchestrating it all because He knew our nugget was on his way into our world.
Thursday evening, December 30th, after visiting Caleb at work and having a totally normal day, the braxton hicks were happening again and I didn’t think much of it. We ate shepherds pie for dinner then went to bed after a few hours of watching netflix like normal. I woke up every hour to pee just like I had been having to do most of the third trimester. At 4:45am I went to the bathroom to pee and while going I felt/heard 3 little pops/cracks. I stopped and thought to myself “Hmm.. that’s odd. I don’t remember ever experiencing that before but it’s probably nothing”. As I started walking back to bed (with a very empty bladder) I felt a tiny gush come out and I stopped mid stride trying to decipher what it was and if I should wake up Caleb, and just then a tiny trickle ran down my leg. I stood there and woke up Caleb saying “Cale.. I think my water just broke!?”.. he shot straight up and said “REALLY!? How do you know??” So I explained what I’d experienced to him and we contemplated whether we should call into triage or go back to bed. FInally we decided we should call triage and talk to our OB just to see what she thought. I remember feeling a growing excitement mixed with terror mixed with complete shock while I climbed back into bed and called her. When I gave her the details, she said she thought it sounded like my water might have broke and that we should take our time, get a quick shower, gather our bags and head into triage. She told us that if it did break we would be admitted right away as there is a risk for infection once your water breaks. I hung up, told Caleb and started shaking with excitement and grinning ear to ear at the possibility. There were no contractions or labor at this point. I felt groggy yet super awake at the same time. I quickly called my mom to tell her what was happening and in between laughter and tears and shock, I stood up out of bed to do a little happy dance and all of a sudden it felt like Niagra Falls was gushing out of me. Caleb was sitting on the edge of the bed watching as water kept pouring out, smiling with excitment and I said “Well, MY WATER DEFINITELY BROKE!”. I remember thinking 1. how lucky I was that I had just stood up and only got it on our hard wood floor (heyo for easy clean up) and 2. how neat it was that it happened while Caleb was there with me and while I was on the phone with my mom. The rest of my mucus plug was laying smack dab in the middle of the puddle. For those who’ve asked, the water and plug were completely clear and scent free. I remember being told that it could be really messy and gross smelling, so I was super glad that wasn’t the case for me and my sweet husband who played the roll of Mr. Clean in this scenario.
Caleb and I immediately went into action, pacing back and forth our bed room getting our things together and stopping time to time to hug and talk about how we couldn’t believe this was happening! Luckily I had all the hospital bags packed for a few weeks, but Caleb finished getting all the last minute things packed (makeup, toiletries, pillows etc) while I got a quick shower. Caleb texted our doula + photographer, and I texted people that I had plans with for that day. Caleb packed me some snacks and gatorade/water, so that I could fuel up before I got admitted to the hospital. Normally, once you’re admitted you get put on a fluids only diet and are limited to only eating things like ice pops and jello. I was so worried my blood sugar would get too low and I’d pass out. The sur-realness and reality hit us all at once. The next time we came home, we’d be coming home with our baby boy. HEART EYES.
It was around 6am when we left the house and the contractions started. I could easily talk/laugh through them but I practiced breathing through them for the harder ones to come. I remembered Meghan telling me how crucial it is to keep your body calm and loose. I turned on worship music and Caleb + I sang together to the playlist, praying over this amazing opportunity we were about to experience. We stopped at my parents house on the way into the hospital to drop off our dog, Kemma. My mom, dad and sister were all awake, waiting for us with excitement waving out the door to grab Kemma so we could be on our way. A contraction hit while I was there and then I had to use the bathroom really bad. A few more gushes of water/amniotic fluid came out. I remember being so confused because I thought that when your water broke it was a once and done thing. I kept saying “it just keeps coming out! Is this normal??”. I was assured it was very normal. Thank goodness for those maxi pads I’d stocked up on for post birth. Around 6:30am we re-started our trek into the hospital. We got admitted to triage sometime around 7:00am, and one of our OB’s came to check me and make sure my water broke. I hadn’t had anymore water leak out yet once I’d arrived in triage, so they swabbed me to test if the fluids were in fact amniotic fluid. Right when she set the test aside to show it’s results (which takes bout 5 minutes), she checked to see if I was dilated and told me I was at 1cm. Immediately another huge gush came out. The OB and nurse began laughing and said “well, I guess we don’t need to wait for the test results anymore.. you’re in fact having this baby!”. I remember being nervous that I’d gross them out and I kept apologizing and they just laughed and said how sweet I was. Caleb and I couldn’t stop beaming from ear to ear. The OB then began to explain the process of how things were going to work over our stay. She explained that if I wouldn’t progress into active labor on my own, we would likely be induced with pitocin because there is a risk of infection once you’re opened up and there is nothing left to protect your baby (typically, you’d go into labor first and then your water would break or you’d have to get your water broken. I remember learning in our birth class of the rarity and odds that your water would break on it’s own, let alone break before you even start contractions/labor). We went over my birth plan, and I asked the OB if they could tell me when my “last call” would be for an epidural. She assured me that there’s really not a last call for it, and that as long as I’m not pushing then I could get one. This helped me feel some comfort about focusing on laboring natural until I just couldn’t handle it anymore, unless I could handle it and stay natural the whole way through. The nurse then took some blood and put an IV port in my arm which made me get faint (not a good sign, I know, haha). There’s just something about needles that get to me! Our doula arrived while we were in triage, and we were lucky enough that they let her come sit back in triage with us. Usually no one can be with you (other then the daddio or your one support person) until you’re admitted into the delivery unit.
Sometime around 8:00am we were admitted to the delivery unit and introduced to our room. I wasn’t put on a liquids diet at first, so my nurse and doula and family encouraged me to eat as much as possible while I still could. I made sure to order things that I knew would be easy on my stomach. Caleb laughs that as my “final meal” I chose bacon. I also got a yogurt parfait and blueberry muffin. Mmm. Our nurse was super nice and went over ground rules with us about the room/where everything was/what everything was, etc. She hooked me up to monitors to get the babies heart rate and monitor my contractions. They hook you up to these monitors intermittently to see how things are progressing (unless you have an epidural then you will be on these monitors the entire time). My contractions were coming sporadically, anywhere from 6-2 minutes apart, and about lasted about 30 seconds to 3 minutes long. Because of the time frame we were put on to get these contractions kicked into high gear (so that things would progress naturally and to avoid induction) I had to get up and moving. Anytime I would lay down in the bed the contractions would kind of fade and not be as strong. I remember feeling so sluggish and tired from being up so early and just wanting to sleep. My dad, mom and sister arrived and sat with us in our room talking and praying and learning about what to expect during our stay. Meghan suggested we start walking to get the contractions moving. Meghan, Caleb and I went for a walk around the hospital halls. Meghan set a goal of 4-5 laps around the delivery unit. We’d make it about half way down a hall and then I would have to stop and lean against the wall to breathe through a contraction. They were definitely getting stronger and more uncomfortable. Caleb + Meghan were so great at soothing and calming me. Caleb would rub my back through the contractions and give me uplifting encouragement while Meghan would keep me focused on breathing by reminding me to relax my eyebrows, then my shoulders, then my butt, then my legs, and work her way down a list, each time adding in a new/different body part or muscle to relax. This was SO HELPFUL. As she’d say a body part I’d literally feel myself let that muscle go loose and continue to breathe “1-2-3-4” in and out. It kept me so calm and s focused. Once I’d feel the contraction lessen, we’d continue on our walk. My photographer Liz arrived when we were on our last lap around the unit, and walked with us back to our room.
The OB who would be with us through deliver came in to check me for the first time since I’d been admitted. Since I’d had to lay down in the bed to get hooked up to the monitors, the contractions seemed to fade out slightly again. My OB said she was concerned that I wasn’t looking uncomfortable enough, so I had yet to hit active labor. Introducing anything into the vagina once your water breaks can cause a risk of infection so they try not to check your cervix too often to keep the risk of infection low. This is why she judged where I was at in labor based off of my comfort level and how I was carrying myself. She was worried that things weren’t progressing and began to “push” the option of pitocin on us. She wanted to get things moving. But we wanted to let it happen naturally as long as things were still looking healthy. My doula ensured me that we were okay to remain on course of our original birth plan, and definitely not at risk for infection yet. She encouraged us to let it go for a few more hours and try some of the techniques I’d wanted to try to see if that got me into active labor. The OB agreed and said she’d be back in about 4 hours to check my progress. We went for a few more laps around the unit, and the contractions began to feel more consistent. When we got back to the room, I used the bathroom (which was the last time I went to the bathroom comfortably). Then I used the birth ball for the first time. Meghan had me bounce up and down on the ball, which helps the babies head to push down on your cervix and continue to loosen it, which should help you dilate. I did this off and on all afternoon until it got too uncomfortable to sit. My family left sometime around lunch soon after I started the birth ball. Shortly after they left, we walked the halls again. After some more birth ball, my contractions began to feel consistent. The OB came back, and she again pushed her desire to start pitocin. She said she could tell I was more uncomfortable but not where she wanted me to be. We had two choices: have the OB check my cervix to see if I’d progressed any further, and if I’d reached 3-4cm then I’d keep going natural for a few more hours and see if I progressed any further, or option two: don’t get checked to limit the risk of infection + start pitocin. Meghan could see my frustration and confusion on what to do. Caleb and I weren’t sure if we should just do what the doctor was encouraging or if we were okay to keep going with our guts. The OB was strongly recommending that I don’t get checked and start pitocin. Meghan recommended that we have the doctors step out of the room so that we could consult on our options and discuss our plan. Reason number 1,000 why I am so happy in my decision to hire a doula. Meghan broke everything down in plain english for me, and told me that since my cervix had only been checked once and since it was only 11am there was no reason to worry about getting checked at this point and recommended I have them check my cervix to see where things are at and if what we’ve been doing has been working. This made me feel so much peace. Thank the Lord for Doula’s. I completely trusted Meghan and knew she wouldn’t recommend anything that wasn’t healthy or smart for my baby and I. We had the nurse and OB come back in and told them we’d like to get checked to see where things were at and then decide if we’d start pitocin or not. Our OB was super understanding and nice and proceeded to check me. I had maybe two contractions while she got ready to check me and I remember her saying something like “Okay.. well I can see things are progressing a bit..”. I remember thinking *YES!*. She checked my cervix which is seriously probably one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. But considering what I’d be going through with the rest of labor and delivery I sucked it up. The OB was elated to tell me that I’d progressed to somewhere between 2/3cm and that she thought I would be okay to stick to my plan of laboring naturally for another 4 hours and see where that got us. Not even kidding you guys, the minute she was done checking me another gush of water came out and I could feel a tiny shift of things. I’m guessing it was our sweet babies head moving down further. As soon as the OB walked out of the room I had the most intense contraction I’d experienced yet. It was longer and hard. And then another one came, and then another. They kept coming consistently. It got hard fast. After a few hours of this, I decided that I definitely wanted an epidural but that I wasn’t ready for one yet. The nurse explained to me that if I were to get one then, it would halt my labor and would likely end with me having to be induced. I really wanted to steer clear of pitocin because of the side effect’s I’d heard it can have and because I wanted to keep things as natural as my body could do. So onward we went into active labor. I would crunch over any high, stable surface I could find and let my bump hang down. Caleb and Meghan continued to coach me through. At times they took turns, and at times they’d both be helping me. Meghan taught Caleb to squeeze in my hips through a contraction which helped tremendously with back labor. They also took turns using a rolling pin on my back which felt so great. Through every single contraction they would be encouraging me, coaching me and soothing me. Meghan had worship music playing and her essential oil diffuser running which set such a fantastic, calm atmosphere. Caleb kept telling me how great I was doing and how proud of me he was. I picked a winner you guys!
After some time, Meghan recommended that I use the shower. Nipple stimulation helps to progress labor. The showers at Womens and Babies have really good water pressure so running the water over my bump + back through contractions felt really awesome. Caleb stood outside the open shower and ran the water over me while I would breathe through contractions. He was so amazing at coaching me and encouraging me. I literally could not have done it or lasted as long without him. He made me feel so beautiful and empowered. I would hear Meghan encouraging me through the bathroom door, and reminding me to loosen certain muscles. The contractions got so intense that at times nothing felt comfortable. I would try standing up, leaning forward, anything. I’d focus on the water pressure on my back/belly and breathing in and out to the count of four. I stayed sitting for most of the time in the shower, leaning forward on the rest bar. At times I’d moan or say “it hurts, it hurts, it hurts” and cry it out. Caleb, Meghan and Liz kept saying they couldn’t even believe I was in labor because of how calm I was. And bless Meghan + Liz, they sure know how to make a girl feel pretty. I don’t know how often they would compliment me and uplift me. Caleb said I was so much quieter then he expected labor to be. I just remember digging deep and feeling like I turned within myself to focus and conquer. I finally got to the point where I felt like I had enough. I remember telling Caleb I wanted the epidural, and he’d ask me if he should get the nurse to tell her, and then the minute the contraction would end I’d tell him not to get her yet. I remember having to go to the bathroom but not wanting to because I knew a contraction would come and it was so uncomfortable to be sitting through one. I also started feeling a tiny bit of pressure with things progressing down there and was nervous about the babies head being there, haha. At some point I had gotten switched to a liquids only diet, and my birth team did a fantastic job at making sure I stayed hydrated and fueled up. They ordered me some Jello but I only ate about half of the Jello cup. Eating was just the last thing on my mind while laboring.
One of my favorite positions to labor in was called the “slow dance”. I would lean into Caleb’s chest with my arms over his shoulders, allowing my bump to hang down, and swing slowly back and forth. Caleb would whisper encouragement in my ear and rub my back while he held me and rocked with me. This was one of the most special moments in laboring for me. The exact reasons laboring naturally was so important to me. I loved getting to depend on my husband, and have him coach and help me. It was such a neat way to have him involved while providing a crazy-amazing bonding experience. I used this technique all through out the day. And towards the end of my natural labor, this was the only position I used. At times it felt like my body was giving out and I was collapsing into him. I could hear conversations and comments being said around me but everything felt and sounded hazy, like I was in my own world.
I always thought it must feel like an eternity that you’re in labor, especially when you her of those stories of labor going beyond 24 hours. But time literally was lost on me. It felt like each time the nurse would come back in to check on me and the babies heart/contractions, hour’s had past by and I was amazed at how fast the day was going. I had two nurses, the first nurse ended her shift at 3:30pm, and then the second nurse was with me through delivery. They both were so, so sweet. It felt like they were long time family friends. They’d refer to me as “mama” and sit with me or talk with me and encourage me and answer any questions I had and were super respectful of our doula. My first nurse even called in towards the end of the night to check in on how I was doing. I have only great things to say about the facility + employees at Womens and Babies Hospital!
At 3:30pm, I told Caleb I was done with the shower and ready for an epidural. Those contractions were legit! I had asked about using the jacuzzi earlier in the day but the nurse was was worried it would halt my progress, so she wanted me to hold off and stick with the shower. I just thought I wouldn’t get to experience the jacuzzi. I remember feeling so worried that I wouldn’t be able to get the epidural yet either, because earlier in the day they said it would halt my progress as well. I didn’t want to let all my hard work go for nothing! You guys, it was like music to my ears when I heard the nurse and Meghan through the bathroom door asking Caleb if I’d like to try the jacuzzi. I had made it far enough along that I could use this option! YAAAS! Through horrible contractions I remember thinking, “I can do this”. I remember telling myself that before I succumb to the epidural I should use all of the other sources available to me to help subside the pain and get me further along naturally. As soon as Caleb told them that I wanted to try the jacuzzi we heard Meghan + Liz shout out “YESSS! GO MEAGAN!!! WOHOOO!!! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!”. It actually made me smile in the midst of a contraction which I did not think would be possible. These girls are so awesome. It was like I had my own cheerleading squad! I couldn’t have done this without their uplifting conversation and encouragement.
The nurse started getting the jacuzzi ready for me with warm water, and Meghan moved her worship music into the bathroom and also dropped some lavender essential oil into the jacuzzi. Laying out in the tub felt a little uncomfortable at first, but then when I tried moving into different positions (kneeling, sitting, squatting) I realized every position felt uncomfortable and it was just because I’d hit the point in labor where nothing was going to feel comfortable. Laying down definitely felt the most relaxing, so I laid, breathing through contractions and focusing on the music and warmth of the water. Caleb ran a soaked wash cloth over my bump with fresh water while Meghan gave my hand a massage through each contraction. Focusing on the pressure of the hand massage and the water running over me really helped to keep me focused and got me through another hour of labor. I remember thinking, I just need to last long enough for my sister to get back so she can get some of this in her film. My sister Breanna dabbles in videography and had been filming parts of our birth story. Since she had left with my parents and missed the shower and most of the afternoon labor, I really wanted to have some of the natural laboring in her film before I got an epidural. I remember feeling such a relief when I heard my mom, dad and sister back in our room. My mom and sister immediately came into the bathroom and helped me through another few minutes of contractions. I was right at the tail end of what I could endure so it was perfect timing when they arrived to help me through those last few minutes. It got to the point where I couldn’t hold myself up through contractions. I literally felt like I couldn’t move or breathe. I felt like I was losing my focus and breathing technique and was beginning to feel like I couldn’t make it through one more contraction. We told the nurse to order the epidural. Caleb, Meghan and my mom helped me out of the jacuzzi and back into my hospital gown. Both the nurse and OB and Meghan were saying I was definitely progressed far. We all thought I was for sure at least at 6cm. The OB was super happy with my progression into active labor and checked my cervix (which would have been the third time total) and said I was at 4cm. When your water breaks first, it can make your contractions a lot more intense, so my nurse explained to me that the contractions I was experiencing were comparable to the contractions a women would feel at 6cm. My OB was very pleased with my progress and said I no longer needed pitocin because of how consistent and close together my contractions were coming.
The only way I can think to explain the contractions is that my entire torso got so tight and hard, mixed with intense cramping in a ring around the base of my torso. Everything felt so tight, like it knocked the wind out of you. Eventually the pain just wore me out and all I wanted was to be able to lay down and rest. Around 6:30pm I got my epidural. I was so pleased with myself that I labored naturally for just about 12 hours. And I was so relieved that I lasted long enough that getting an epidural would not effect things negatively or halt my progress. Everyone had to clear the room but Caleb. Caleb sat in front of me and held my hands. The anesthesiologist put the bed up super high and had me sitting on the edge of the bed, crunched over with my legs dangling down, feet resting in Caleb’s lap. All I wanted was to set my arms down along side my waist and stretch out my torso through a contraction because that’s what felt most comfortable, but I wasn’t allowed because anything behind me was considered a sterile environment. He made sure not to do a thing unless I was crunched over, hands in front of me. The first shot was to numb the area, which felt like a stinging sensation. It hurt, but it didn’t last long. Then I could feel pressure which just felt super uncomfortable and weird which I said felt painful at the time. I think it was just because it was a sensation I’d never experienced before. I squeezed Caleb’s hands hella tight, and later he said he thought I broke them, haha. It was the only time in labor that I let out a few choice words. The epidural was painful, but I got to the point in loabor were the thought of going countless more hours with the contractions I was having made the pain of an epidural SO worth it. Within 10-15 minutes after the epidural, all the pain was gone and I felt like the queen of the world.
The nurse helped me lay back into a comfortable position and hooked me up to the monitors. A few family members came back to visit and say hi (my nana, aunt Kim and cousin Danielle, as well as my parents and sister), and then around 7pm everyone went out to the waiting room so Caleb and I could catch some shut eye. Around 9pm, the OB came in to check my cervix and said I was 7-8cm dilated. Within two hours I’d progressed from 4cm to 8cm. WHAT. They said my body had been working so hard that when I gave it some rest it helped it progress. The nurse would tell me when I was having a contraction from the monitor and it was so strange because I couldn’t feel a thing. It felt marvelous. Epidurals are such a gift. I felt so talkative and excited. Everyone gave us another 2 hour break and we napped some more. It felt so great to rest. But at the same time I felt restless knowing we were so close to meeting our son. The nurse thought I might be minutes away from pushing, so I couldn’t get over the shock of everything happening, and that this was real life. Things had moved along so smoothly and quickly that everyone thought we might have this baby on December 30th!
Around 10pm, the epidural began to wear off and I started feeling more of my contractions. The nurse told me that I was having about 5-6 contractions per minute. She said they were super intense contractions and I wasn’t even feeling the half of them; but it was still more than I wanted to be feeling. They gave me a boost in my epidural, and about 10 minutes later I felt good again. My legs got suuuper tingly, and I couldn’t move them myself anymore. That sensation lasted through until I was in recovery (after delivery). About 20 minutes later my blood pressure dropped from it and I began to feel super nauseas and light headed. Caleb got the nurse just in time for her to bring me a doggie bag and I vomited a few times. That felt so terrible. It was something I’d been scared of all day, haha. I don’t know why but throwing up is one of my worst fears. Don’t judge me. But once I was done the nurse gave me something through my IV to bring my blood pressure back up and I felt so much better. The nurse told me that she thought we were super close to pushing so she began to ask me if I was feeling any pressure from my babies head making his way down. I started feeling some pressure before she’d even asked but I was scared to admit it because for some reason I was feeling super anxious about pushing and kept second guessing myself on what I was feeling. Around 11:30pm the OB came back in to check my cervix and told us I was at 10cm!! FINALLY! I actually couldn’t believe how fast it had gone. I had been preparing myself for a two day event. The pressure I felt was growing stronger and stronger and I felt a tiny urge to push. While getting me prepped to push, the nurse told me that for first time moms it usually takes about 3-3.5 hours of pushing. She also informed me that in my previous ultrasound our babies head measured in the 90th percentile. WHAT. I know. This would mean he’d have a huge head. Hello Stewy from Family Guy! She sweetly told me not to panic or feel alarmed if a ton of nurses ran into the room to help me get him out and flip me on my side. Noooot the best thing to tell an already nervous pregnant women about to push. It took the nurse, my mom, Caleb, Meghan and Liz a good 5 or so minutes to convince me to start pushing in between fits of laughter. I was terrified! I’m not even sure why because I had an epidural so it’s not like I felt any pain, I just felt a ton of pressure. But I think I was just nervous for the unknown and what it would feel like. The big moment! The one we’d been waiting for.
The nurse called our OB and had someone come in to set up the delivery table. It was such a surreal feeling knowing that we were so close to meeting our baby boy. The epidural started wearing off a tiny bit again and I started feeling some of the contractions which helped me know when to push. I asked the nurse about getting another boost, but didn’t want it to make me sick again. She told me it was good that I was feeling thing again because she wanted my body to feel involved in the delivery. I wasn’t feeling pain, just pressure which was really great so that I could still be physically/emotionally involved in the process. The nurse had me start out practice pushing, laying flat on my back, with my mom and Meghan holding up my feet while I grabbed onto my legs and leaned forward to push. I pushed by taking in a deep breath, then pushing while Caleb counted up to 10. At 10 I would relax, take another deep breath and do it again. We pushed in intervals of three I switched back and forth between holding my breath in and letting it out while I pushed. After only a few practice pushes everyone started exclaiming that they could see his head and saw hair! This really motivated me. And with each push that was pain free, I was able to relax and push harder and longer. Caleb switched with Meghan and held my leg while I continued pushing. Meghan made sure to diffuse more oils which helped keep the room smelling good and also set a great calming presence mixed with the worship music playing. Everyone kept making sure I had enough chapstick and water and offered to help me with putting my hair up. I later realized this was my mom/sisters nice way of saying “girl, your hair looks wack, put it up in a bun”.. HA! The nurse offered me a mirror so that I could witness my progress but I was worried that seeing things but freak me out so I opted out of the mirror. Thinking back, it would have been neat to watch but I just knew for my personality since I was doing so well, I should just stick with what was working. The nurse had me try a new position laying on my side, while my mom helped support my leg in the air. We only did this for one or two pushed before the nurse had me lay on my back again and use the birth bar. I rested my feet against the bar while tugging/pulling against a sheet wrapped around the bar. Caleb and my mom still held my legs as support. This position provided great friction and immediately gave me all the strength I needed. It was like some inner strength I didn’t know that I had kicked in and I was determined to push out my little man. The contractions kept coming on closer together, so I began pushing for 4 – 5 times in a row instead of 3 and I held my push’s past 10 seconds at times. The closer I got to having his head out the louder and more excited everyone got with encouragement. Our OB came in to check my progress and was surprised/impressed at how good of a “pusher” I was. I think she planned to pop in and then go check on other patients until we were at the point were our baby was crowning because when she saw how good we were doing and how close we were already, she immediately got gowned up and stayed to cheer me on. Before I knew it, I heard the nurse inform me that they were going to start using the mineral oil (they load you up with mineral oil and then rub their hands around the sides of your opening/the babies head to help with tearing). It was really happening! All of a sudden, I heard my OB tell me to give her a really big push, then everyone said “HIS HEAD!!!”. I remember asking something like “he’s here!? Is he out?!?!” and they told me his head was out! I felt the pressure of it coming out, but no pain at all. I kept pushing really hard to get the rest of him out because I thought she wanted me to keep going but the OB quickly told me to stop pushing. I got so worried something was wrong and started asking her why, and they told me they had to get the cord off from around his neck but that everything was okay. My OB told me to start pushing again and I felt the release of my babies tiny body come out. This all happened within seconds. It all was such a whirlwind, and then I heard my baby boy cry for the first time as they raised him up and placed him on my belly/chest. Immediately tears flooded my eyes and I couldn’t stop saying “my baby!” .. “baby baby baby”.. and other random, sappy things that probably made no sense but I was on such a high and had no sense of the world around me. His perfect, tiny face and wide open, alert eyes were looking right at us.
On December 31st, 2016 at 1:22am, after just over an hour of pushing, our son Owen Davis Keller was born. He was exactly at 37 weeks to the day. He weighed in at 5lbs and 12oz, 19 inches long and so perfect in every way. He scored a 9.5 out of 10 on his Apgar test and I remember thinking how perfect his soft, tan coloring was. I couldn’t stop rubbing his soft skin and kissing the top of his head. I looked over to see Caleb smiling bigger then he’s ever smiled before and crying along with me. Our first few minutes as a new family of three were beyond beautiful. Kisses, hugs, skin to skin, smiles, tears, photos, I love you’s. I find myself reminiscing those sweet memories multiple times a day. My heart grew to depths I never knew it could. Hearing everyone in the room cry and say how cute he was and how tiny he was made my heart burst. I seriously had the best birth team on planet earth. After a few minutes of keeping the umbilical cord clamped, Caleb cut it. He said it felt like cutting through a lawn hose.
Though we had such a smooth birthing process, we did have one hiccup. My placenta got stuck! Like, whose placenta gets stuck!? Isn’t that supposed to be like, the easiest part?? Oye. My umbilical cord was one of the longest my OB had ever seen, so she thinks that may have contributed to it. For an hour, I had to lay there and wait as she tried to get this placenta out while the nurses poked and prodded at me. I tried my best to just focus on my baby boy and ignore what was going on, but it gets to a point when you just cant ignore the pain and discomfort you’re feeling. My OB told me we had about 10 minutes left and one more option to try and get it out before she would take me to the OR to get it surgically removed. I was so ready to get this thing out of me and enjoy my sweet newborn baby so I told her to do what she had to do to get it out now. I was not going to go through surgery for a placenta after getting through everything else naturally. So, she stuck her arm elbow deep inside of me and pulled out the placenta! It was pretty painful, but the relief I felt as soon as it plopped out of me was immediate. Getting to see the sac + placenta that my little man was living in and getting life through for the last 9 months was CRAZY! I’m so glad we got it captured on film. The nurses had to keep pushing on my stomach through out the placenta ordeal and through out the first day post delivery to make sure my bleeding was okay + to monitor my uterus. I remember getting to annoyed because I was so over being poked and messed with but the nurses were super sweet and kind about it. Because the nurse propped me towards whatever side I was feeling more contractions on right before delivery (which happened to be my left side) for about 2 days after my left leg would fall asleep super easily. That was my only symptom of getting an epidural. I walked away with a second degree tear but added it to my list of things to be thankful for because somehow the placement of my tear and stitches wound up being at just the right spot that I barely had pain. I had a few days of recovery and adjustment to minimal pain, but I definitely think it was one of the luckier recovery stories.
I labored for 12 hours naturally and around 6 hours on the epidural and I got to stick to my birth plan which is such a blessing and wouldn’t have been possible without my amazing Doula, Meghan. 24 hours from the time my water broke, we were placed in our recovery/visiting room and spent our first night with our new love bug. There were doctors coming in and out all through out our first night/morning checking on me and on Owen. I requested to have the epidural IV removed asap, so the anesthesiologist came to remove it early that morning, about 2-3 hours after delivery. Normally they wait until the next day. The most painful part really is getting that tape pulled off! haha! I spent hours doing skin to skin with my freshly bathed peanut, and soaking in everything that had just happened. Life knocked me off my feet and blew me away in the best of ways.
I am so, so thankful for a good + faithful Lord who held us in His hands through out our entire process and provided us with such a positive experience. And I am so thankful for my simply amazing husband Caleb who stood by my side and supported me however I needed, our Doula Meghan who helped us have such a calm, peaceful labor experience, our photographer Liz who documented it better then I could have ever imagined, my sister for capturing it on a video that makes me cry happy tears every time I watch it, and my parents for encouraging me through the entire day and filling our room and hearts with so much love.
Caleb and I are LOVING our son, Owen. I can’t believe how quickly everything happened. Our birth experience was here and gone before we even knew it. But we couldn’t be happier with how things went and life with our baby. We are daily amazed at how good God is and how much this little babe changed our whole world in the best of ways.